Wednesday, January 16, 2008

She's never heard an Aggie joke...

I have a friend visiting from up North. It's her first time to visit Texas, so I've been showing her around. Today's mini culture lesson included a section on Texas humor -- namely, Aggie jokes. Here goes (all of these courtesy of my father, who told and retold them throughout my childhood):

An Aggie is standing in line behind another customer, waiting to talk to the salesman. The customer in front of him says, "I want seven pairs of underwear." "Why?" asks the salesman. "One for Monday, one for Tuesday, one for Wednesday, one for Thursday, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

Then it's the Aggie's turn. He goes up to the salesman and says, "I'd like twelve pairs of underwear." "Why?" asks the salesman. "One for January, one for February, one for March..."


An Aggie living in Houston heard on TV that mandatory evacuations were being ordered because a hurricane was coming in. So he got on Loop 610.


An Aggie was stranded on a desert island with two other men. One day, they found an old bottle and rubbed it just to see what would happen. Poof! Out came a genie. "I'll grant you each one wish," he said. The first stranded man said, "I'd love to be on a sunny beach surrounded by beautiful girls." Poof! He was gone, sent away to the beach of his dreams. The second stranded man said, "I miss my family. I'd like to be back home, eating a spaghetti dinner with my wife and kids." Poof! He was back in his kitchen, eating with his family. Then it was the Aggie's turn. "You know, it's kind of lonely around here with my buddies gone. I wish that they were back!"


An Aggie and his friend both needed a job. One company gave them a test to see how well-suited they'd be to working there. The Aggie copied all of his friend's answers, but they both failed.

Once the hiring manager reviewed their test answers, he announced that despite the fact that they both had the same score, he was going to hire the Aggie's friend. "How come?" demanded the Aggie. "Because you copied off him," said the manager. "How'd you know that?" the Aggie asked. "Because on question 7, your friend wrote, "I don't know" and you wrote, "Me, neither."


An Aggie was hired to do quality control at the M&M factory. The foreman was really impressed with him -- he was weeding out far more defective M&Ms than the other workers. "What's wrong with all these M&Ms you're finding?" asked the foreman. "They all have Ws printed on them!" replied the Aggie.


An Aggie and his two friends decide to go to the desert. They each bring one thing on the trip. The first guy brings water so they don't dehydrate. The second guy brings food so they don't starve to death. The Aggie says, "I brought a car door so if it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"

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