The best salmon ever

A few years ago, when my mom and stepdad had just gotten married, my stepdad decided to cook my mom a nice dinner. My mother’s favorite food is fresh wild salmon, so my stepdad went out to grill her some salmon filets. One problem: the smell of any kind of fish or seafood makes my stepdad instantly ill. So as soon as he put the salmon on the grill, he had to run to the bushes to vomit.

Well, somehow my stepdad managed to finish cooking the fish. He picked it up off the grill with a pair of tongs, put it on a plate, and dropped it. The salmon went tumbling down onto the concrete block upon which the grill is mounted… which, at the time, was covered in dog pee, leaves and dirt.

Lucy gobbled up half of the fish before my stepdad was able to get it up off the ground. After having suffered so much to make a special meal for my mom, he wasn’t about to go back in the house empty-handed. So he brushed off the leaves and dirt (let’s not think about the dog pee) and threw the salmon back on the grill for a few more minutes. Then he took it inside (this time without dropping it) and served it.

My mom ate every last bite. After the meal was over, she exclaimed, “Honey, that was the best salmon I’ve ever tasted!”

It was several months before my stepdad confessed what had happened!